Two Conshita Martinez fans were walking to Wimbledon one day. One of them picked up a mirror, looks in it and says "Hey, I know that face". The second one picks it up and says "of course you do, you thick sod, it's me".
The WTA latest piece of merchandise has had to put on hold. They had plans to bring out a stamp with Martina Hingis on the front, but shelved the scheme after it was discovered that people kept spitting on the wrong side.
Sadly a burglary was recently committed at the home of Rennae Stubbs last month. The entire contents of her trophy room were stolen. The police are looking for a man with a blue carpet.
Monica Seles has revealed that at one stage she felt so lonely that she took up the advise of her agent and tried computer dating. "It wasn't up to much mind", remembers Monica, "that Apple Mac was the worst shag of me life"
On arriving at this years Italian Open, Conshita Martinez was keen to meet up with her close friend Gigi Fernandez. On being told that she had gone off to get a cortisone injection, Conshita replied "I hope she's not getting for me, I've had enough of those Italian cars"
Nathalie "sour faced" Tauziat and Julie Halard-Decugis are strenuously denying that they were watching the French football team at the World Cup rather than practising for Wimbledon. However, a recent overheard conversation between the two confirms this. "What you think of De Gaulle then ?" Asks Julie "Oh definitely offside" replied Nathalie
Jennifer Crapriati's computer broke down last week and so she decided to consult the instruction book. She went right through the check list of possible faults, until finally it said ' If it still fails to function, please contact your local dealer'. Oh no shouted Jennifer, this is hardly the time to be buying drugs.
What's the difference between Jana Novotna and an arsonist ?
An arsonist wouldn't throw away his matches
What do you get if you see a Martina Hingis fan buried up to her neck in sand ?
More sand!!
